Pushing through Awkwardness in 1v1

Try these 3 steps

Author

Rameel Sheikh
May 01, 2024

Pushing through Awkwardness in 1v1

Insight from Rameel Sheikh

Imagine you're sitting across from your direct report, trying to dive into their challenges, but the conversation feels like pulling teeth.

You ask, "How's everything going?" and they respond with a generic, "Oh, you know, same old same old." They’ve answered the same way the past 3 weeks.

You can feel the awkwardness hanging in the air, and you're tempted to move on to the next topic. But you decide to push yourself to see what happens.

So you take a deep breath and say, "I've noticed you seem a bit disengaged lately. I'm wondering if there's something on your mind that we haven't had a chance to discuss. What's really going on?"

Your report looks surprised for a moment, but then their shoulders relax and they let out a sigh.

"Honestly, I've been feeling like my work isn't being recognized or valued. I pour my heart into these projects, but it feels like no one notices."

Bingo. By embracing the awkwardness and asking a probing question, you've uncovered a real issue that needs to be addressed.

And now that it's out in the open, you can work together to find solutions and rebuild that sense of motivation and purpose.

This is the power of a great 1:1 - it's a chance to dig deep, uncover hidden challenges, and support your team members in a way that moves the needle.

But it doesn't happen by accident.

If you want to improve your leadership skills, you've got to master the art of the 1:1 meeting. Today, I'll explain exactly how to do that.

Step 1: Embrace the Awkward

I know, I know — nobody likes awkward conversations. But here's the thing: the most meaningful and impactful 1:1s often feel a little uncomfortable.

So lean into that awkwardness and use it as a sign that you're diving into the stuff that matters.

  1. Discuss mistakes and missteps openly

  2. Confront tensions and challenges head-on

  3. Create space for vulnerability and honest feedback

Step 2: Ask the Right Questions

As a manager, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need to have all the answers. But the truth is, your team members are the experts on their own problems and priorities.

So instead of jumping in with advice or solutions, focus on asking questions that empower them to find their own way forward.

  1. Identify what's top of mind and where to focus your time

  2. Understand the root of the problem and potential solutions

  3. Support them by asking how you can help them succeed

Step 3: Let Them Lead

1:1s are a chance for your team members to take the driver's seat and steer the conversation where they need it to go.

Your role is to listen, probe deeper when needed, and provide guidance and support along the way.

  1. Resist the urge to dominate the conversation

  2. Encourage them to set the agenda and prioritize topics

  3. Follow their lead and adapt your questions

Now, you might be wondering, "What's in it for me? Why should I bother with all this touchy-feely stuff?"

Here are three big reasons to care:

  1. Stronger relationships: By having meaningful, authentic conversations with your team members, you'll build deeper trust and rapport that will serve you well in the long run.

  2. Better problem-solving: When you empower your team to find their own solutions, you'll be amazed at the creativity and resourcefulness they bring to the table.

  3. Increased engagement: Teams who feel heard, supported, and valued are likelier to go the extra mile and bring their best selves to work daily.

Try it in your next round of 1:1s and watch the magic happen.

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